Starting to Stop

How do you make a heart stop beating and stay alive

Bullshit and cliches aside, you are always on my mind. From the time we met, believe me, it's true. My day has always started and ended with thoughts of you The time i wake up until my eyes drop and every moment in between, you are there.

So much are you a part of me that if technology had found a way to bridge my brain to my phone, you would have a message every second for every thought i have. Open my mind you are there.

Most times i have to hold back to keep myself sane, to keep you from thinking I'm too much because

I would never want you to get tired of my praises, concerns, questions, insecurities, even though i will never tire of wanting to let you know

and i will never tire of asking how you are, where you are, what you're doing, who you're with, if you've had breakfast lunch or dinner, morning and afternoon snack, if you've shampooed, showered and shit, if you've played with yourself, if you thought of me while doing so, if you've thought of me...

at all...

Acid rising, bags swollen, breaking out, forgetting to breathe

This is not healthy...

Tell me to stop, tell me to slow down Tell me whatever you need to to make me stop from stumbling, looking at your face in everyone i see

Tell me its not right for me to look for you when i know you're right there Tell me we can skip to the parti when i can't miss you anymore because you are one with me

Tell me not that i have you but that you have me in you, and you in me

Tell me I'm making sense

Tell me of a time when i won't have to hold your hand to feel it

Tell me it's ok

For me to miss you For me to kiss you For me to love every single part of you